


Pearl

by hautepink



Category: Naruto
Genre: Alternate Universe, Angst, Anxiety Disorder, For the most part, Gen, Muteness, No Plot/Plotless, One Shot, POV Uchiha Sasuke, Pre-Canon, Selectively Mute Sasuke (Naruto), Uchiha Sasuke & Uzumaki Naruto Friendship, Uchiha Sasuke-centric, a lot of this takes place in Sasuke's own head because uh fuck a dialogue, kind of?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-10
Updated: 2021-01-10
Packaged: 2021-03-14 23:15:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,946
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28678746
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hautepink/pseuds/hautepink
Summary: Sasuke has taken a vow of silence, to be broken the day he kills Itachi. Or at least that's what he tells Kakashi-sensei when the man asks. The truth is a bit more complicated.
Relationships: Uchiha Fugaku & Uchiha Sasuke, Uchiha Itachi & Uchiha Sasuke, Uchiha Sasuke & Uzumaki Naruto
Comments: 10
Kudos: 108





	Pearl

**Author's Note:**

> Hello! I wrote and edited this entire fic over the span of a weekend, so it was just the tiniest pet project of mine. I couldn't think of a good title for this fic, so I decided to name it pearl after the song "Pearl" by Tamar-Kali, which I haven't been able to stop listening to lately. It literally has nothing to do with this fic but it slaps so go listen to it. 
> 
> CW: Uchiha Massacre, Unhealthy Thoughts
> 
> Anyways, happy reading!

The first time Sasuke’s words fail him is before the Massacre. It’s strange that something so seemingly mundane endures the horrific event, but in the end it is much more important than he could’ve ever thought. 

His words fail him, firstly, when he’s sitting across from Father. Father is lecturing him about his taijutsu, from what he’d glimpsed in the training room of their home. His form is _sloppy_ , and his movements are _too wide_ , the man says, and he brings his hand down on the table with a disappointed thud. Sasuke’s palms are sweaty. 

The boy wishes he were anywhere but here-even out in the yard, where Father might pass by him and his sloppy, not-good-enough taijutsu forms without a word.

He feels too sweaty and warm here, in the shaded comfort of the living room. His breathing seems to be amplified, and Father’s words are drowned out by his own too-loud thoughts of running through the taijutsu forms, over, and over, and over, and over again, until he’s perfect at them. Until Father doesn’t have to look upon him with disapproving eyes. 

“Sasuke, are you listening to me?”

Sasuke’s hands tremble against his knees. He feels like Father is staring directly into him, through their locked eyes. 

He averts his gaze to the wrapped knuckles of his fingers, bandages pink with a little blood. He opens his mouth to say, _Yes Father, I understand,_ but finds that his stomach doesn’t allow his words to rise correctly, and his throat seems to have tightened so that it is difficult to breathe, let alone speak. 

He nods in place of a verbal answer. Father huffs, but doesn’t dwell on his silence.

The lecture continues. 

* * *

  
  


After the first time, Sasuke’s words seem to work more often than not. This is a relief for the boy, because he doesn’t know what he would do if his words dried up completely. 

But sometimes, especially at the Academy during roll call, or when he is at the dinner table with Father and Mother and even Nii-chan, his palms will start to sweat and his words will vanish. 

Sasuke figures out his words only leave him when he’s nervous. He hates that he’s so nervous so often, but in-between Nii-chan and Father’s fighting, and Mother’s worried demeanor, he feels he has no one to tell. 

(So, Sasuke doesn’t tell anyone about it. It's easy enough.)

* * *

The compound is empty. Still in his hospital gown, Sasuke can’t stop running - he runs past where Auntie Ikana and Uncle Masaru gave him sweets, where his cousins would play kickball, the low-set window which allowed a perfect view into the nursery of little Emiko, where he’d make silly faces to see her smile--

Sasuke thinks of the red, red, red streets, the broken windows, of Nii-chan, and of ( _you are not worth killing, to test myself i killed them, live in your weakness-)_ cold eyes, and his throat burns, not with words, but with vomit. He vomits all over the main street of the compound, liquid too thin and light to be the result of anything but tube-fed hospital food. 

When he’s done vomiting he hefts himself up on shaky legs, and makes his way, faster than before, to his house. The screen door is still open. Even from his place on the dirt walkway, Sasuke can see the tape outlines of Mother and Father. 

He thinks of their bodies there, peaceful, red on white with the gleam of his Mother’s bone, watching as Nii-chan stabbed them over and over and over and over again. As Sasuke couldn’t even feel the sweat of his shaking palms, powerless, only to watch. 

His throat hurts very badly. 

When the ANBU takes him back to the hospital, he can’t protest. 

* * *

He’s been back at the Academy for a week, and he hates it. He hates how his classmates look at him now - with disbelief, with awe, and worst of all, with pity. He hears whispers, everywhere, which is arguably worse - children and adults, civilians and shinobi, they all speak of the poor Uchiha boy. 

All of their words make his fists clench in anger. 

“I heard he’s the only survivor.”

“Poor boy.”

“Really? They’re all gone?”

“His brother…”

Each sentence he hears is worse than the last, and it leads him to actively tuning out as he walks down the streets, or sits in the classroom, or _exists_ anywhere outside of the four walls of his apartment. 

(And isn’t that a feat: an apartment, across town from the Uchiha compound. Nowhere near the red, red, red and cold eyes of the compound that had been his home for nearly 8 years.)

His palms still shake everyday at roll call. When Sensei calls out his name, Sasuke watches all eyes turn to him - assuming they weren’t already stationed there.

He raises his hand in acknowledgement. 

Roll call continues, and Uchiha Sasuke has not spoken in a week. 

* * *

The blond boy is annoying. Sasuke doesn’t care that the other boy talks a lot (who is he to judge?) or that everyone else seems to hate him. No, that’s not why Sasuke thinks the blond is annoying.

Naruto is annoying because he won’t leave Sasuke alone. He’s like one of the girls that giggles anytime Sasuke does so much as turn his head, but several times worse. 

In his eyes, anything Sasuke does is another piece of evidence to support the far-fetched idea that they are “rivals.”

(Sasuke has no rivals. He doesn’t want to compete with anybody, not anymore. He trains, constantly, for one reason and one reason only.)

Naruto also seems to be fascinated with Sasuke’s silence. He goads the dark-haired boy; calls Sasuke a “mute bastard” and watches with baited breath for Sasuke to open his mouth and attack. To say _something,_ no matter how cruel.

He never does. 

Sasuke is slightly less annoyed when these types of insults (directed at his silence, at his otherness) die off to the occasional, playful comment. 

Naruto now insists on sitting next to him in class, which has its benefits; the main one being that it keeps the tittering, red-faced girls away from him. 

* * *

Most of the girls in his class are not half as intuitive as Naruto, which is saying a lot. They don’t bother to disguise how “mysterious” they think he is, and their swooning at his every movement makes him want to be sick. 

Some of the bolder girls try to coax him into speaking, which, like Naruto’s verbal attacks, are met with dark-eyed silence. 

One particular rumor spread by these girls sticks with him, and makes him scrunch his eyebrows in distaste.

“I hear Sasuke-kun will speak to the girl who captures his heart!” 

There are many things wrong with that statement, with that idea, but Sasuke settles on what bothers him the most: the notion that he’ll push up his words, out through his dry mouth, into his shaking palms, for anybody who’d ever treat it as a parlor trick. 

Sasuke walks himself to the public library, checks out a few books about sign language, and pointedly ignores the sputtered questions of the librarian across the counter. 

He doesn’t particularly intend on forcing out his voice anytime soon, after all. 

(The next day, at roll call, he signs out H-E-R-E with near-steady hands, and watches Sensei’s brows raise ever so slightly before he moves on.)

* * *

Teachers, classmates, civilians and shinobi come to a very obvious revelation nearly three years after the Massacre; the revelation being that the Uchiha boy hasn’t spoken, at all, since the event. 

For some reason, this is both a surprise and an issue, though Sasuke can’t see as to why.

In class, when teachers call on him, Sasuke has gotten much better at signing, so his answers come faster. If a teacher doesn’t know sign, he scribbles his response on a piece of paper and holds it up for them to see. 

He is top of his class, at least among the boys, and he spends his free time studying, or training, or even weathering the company of Naruto, who is, surprisingly, one of the few people who takes Sasuke’s silence in stride. 

The blond is remarkable at keeping up almost completely one-sided conversations, and is only spurred onwards by Sasuke’s increasing number of nods and short signs, either in agreement or in protest. 

Sasuke is still startled when Naruto greets him with his (1) two pointer fingers frantically bowing inwards, a foxy grin lighting up his face.

_Hello, Hello, Hello, Hello, Hello,_ until Sasuke rolls his eyes and knocks his hands away. 

He doesn’t know if they’re quite friends, but they have eaten ramen together, and with Naruto, those two things seem to be inextricably linked. 

(He pointedly ignores the words of That Man, telling him to kill his closest companions. Sasuke has no best friend. Naruto is not his best friend. Sasuke will kill That Man with his own strength. Then, and only then, will the shaking and sweating of his palms stop.)

* * *

It becomes a simple truth by the time Graduation rolls around; the Uchiha boy doesn’t talk. 

* * *

Naruto manages to graduate. Sasuke knows this because the other boy tracks him down while Sasuke is grocery shopping (ignoring the dirty looks of the store owner) and headbutts the dark-haired boy in an attempt to show him his headband.

Naruto, with hand signs that are far too frantic and fast, spells out I DID IT. Sasuke doesn’t know how someone can make every action so loud, but the blond manages. 

Sasuke shoots the boy a look that lacks any heat in response, and motions for him to pick up a bag of onions. 

* * *

He is assigned to a team with Naruto (what are the chances? Very likely, judging by what Sensei had said about pairing up the dead last and the rookie of the year) and Haruno Sakura, one of the girls who he recalls is a fervent believer in that infuriating rumor. 

The boy manages to mask his grimace. 

* * *

His new Sensei sucks. Sasuke’s faith in his own conclusion gains more and more credibility as he trudges up to the roof, followed by Naruto and Haruno. 

The boy takes a seat upon one of the roof’s steps, and listens to Sensei’s half-assed introduction of himself. “Hatake Kakashi” is sounding more and more like the type of pointless teacher Sasuke despises by the minute. 

He realizes, with a start, that both of his teammates have gone. It is his turn to introduce himself. 

_I am Uchiha Sasuke_ , he signs. _I like tomatoes, and I dislike a lot of things. My ambition is to kill a certain man._

Sensei’s visible eye scrunches. “A silent avenger, huh? Any particular reason for that?” His voice is light but Sasuke senses an underlying note of darker intrigue.

Sasuke’s hands still. 

(Sasuke can’t tell him about the first time his words failed him; he can’t tell him about how his hands still shake sometimes, or how the thought of That Man has completely curved any desire he has had to speak, in fear that he’d open his mouth and the voice that came out wouldn’t be his own. Sasuke can’t tell Sensei about any of this, and he really doesn’t want to. 

His reasons are his own.)

Sasuke knows he’ll want an answer though (don’t they always?), so he thinks quickly.

_I will not speak until That Man is dead,_ and as he lowers his fingers, he watches Sensei’s eyes shutter a darker gray. 

“Aren’t you an eccentric bunch?” Hatake asks the air above their heads, and nearly smiles at Sakura and Naruto’s indignant cries.

**Author's Note:**

> I have never been selectively mute, but I did some research for this fic. If anything is offensive, please tell me so I can take proper steps in fixing it/rewriting the section. This fic could probably be longer, and delve all the way into the Valley of the End fight scene - how dramatic! - but tbh I just felt like cutting it here. I think this fic is pretty close to canon, because nothing really crazy happens within. 
> 
> (1) I know a bit of ASL (enough to get me through a very basic conversation) but did you know that with JSL, the sign for hello is having your two pointer figures bow to each other? In the videos I watched I could imagine Naruto signing very fast, so I had to throw this part in for you to picture! (Also, in case you were wondering,,, Naruto totally learned this just so he could talk to Sasuke more. What a sweetie.)
> 
> I don't know if finger spelling is a thing with Japanese SL but uh,,,here it is because I'm sort of lazy. Also, I love Sakura but she kind of gets shafted here because this story mostly takes place from Sasuke's perspective. Sorry Miss. Girl. 
> 
> I hope you enjoyed the story! Any comments or critiques you have can be posited below, thank you!


End file.
